My guess is that by now, most of you have a pretty good idea what your Thanksgiving menu is going to look like and whoโs in charge of what. Or if the menu isnโt set, you might be in the middle of a reply-all marathon with your family like me. Uncle Phil โ youโre on cheese duty, right? Grandmaโs got the bird. Papa โ How about a few bottles of that Norton Ridge Chardonnay again and some of that hummus from the Lebanese place for nibbles? NO ONE BUY BRUSSELS SPROUTS! Andy just bought every sprout harvested in the Hudson Valley last week. Do we have enough butter? Eggs? Olive oil. Aunt Lynn- Youโve got kosher salt in the kitchen right? I love stuffing my face on Thanksgiving, but I think I may love planning and discussing and cooking part of it even more.
So as far as the food goes, youโre probably in good shape. The stuffings and sides are figured out. All the pecan pie ingredients are sitting on the counter, next to the bag of cranberries and the turkey baster and the special serving platter. Itโs likely that the contents of the fridge is in precarious balance, and that your kid stood there for five minutes trying to find a place where the milk might fit.
But what about when you sit down? Have you thought about that part? Not the serving pieces and the place settings, or the way you must time the potato gratin to be ready when the turkey is, but the moment everyoneโs food is loaded onto the plates, forks perched for consumption. Have you thought about what youโre going to do then?
I guess you could go ahead and eat. But then a dayโs worth of cooking, a weekโs worth of planning and reply-all-ing, is gone in 15 minutes. Twenty tops. The question is: Have you thought about how you might get the kids โ and everyone for that matter โ to participate in the moment and to appreciate what the holiday is about?
With six kids under 10 at our familyโs Thanksgiving table, we are not always so good at this. Toasts can be hard. Weโve tried to go around the table and say what weโre thankful for, but by the time youโre at the 16th speech, the gravy has gummed up and the toddlers are gearing up for holiday-level tantrums. So this year, if I can get my act together, I might try to do what Andy did for me one birthday I was celebrating without the kids. Since they werenโt going to be with us โ it was going to be a late night โ before the meal he had them fill out short fill-in-the-blank questionnaires about me (โThe most important thing she told me about life wasโฆโ or โThree adjectives to describe Mom areโฆโ) then placed the results on my dinner plate. I got some nice gifts that birthday, but their words on those pages were right up at the top. Something about the specific prompting and the act of writing down (as opposed to speaking in front of a large group) made them write with abandon and express things I canโt imagine they would have told me in the backseat on the way to ballet. Or even at the dinner table for that matter. Here are a few examples:
So what kind of questions would I write for my nephews and nieces on a Thanksgiving questionnaire? Hereโs what Iโm thinking:
The moment I felt luckiest this year was whenโฆ.
If I had to pick three adjectives to describe this meal it would beโฆ.
When Iโm really old and 35, I hope my Thanksgiving table isโฆ
If I could invite anyone to sit with our family this Thanksgiving it would beโฆโฆbecauseโฆ.
If I could write a note to the cook (or cooks) thanking them for whatโs in front of me, the first line would beโฆ
If I can get a few answers out of them and then read convince them to read one or two aloud at the table, my guess is that it will be like waving a magic wand across the plate. The food will no longer be Turkey with Sides. It will be Thanksgiving Dinner.
PS: Just in case you havenโt figured out the menu. Here are few good sources from around the web. My friend Jen sent the link for Martha Stewartโs slideshow of 71 Pies and Tarts to her brother and father and told them each to pick one. (They chose pumpkin pie and maple-bourbon-pecan. How. Freaking. Good. does that last one sound?) I thought that was such a fun idea.
Thanksgiving Dessert Slideshow at Martha Stewart
From Food52: Seven Salads To Cut the Heavy Hitters Iโm also very excited to play around with their promising newย Holiday Survival App.)
Crowdpleasing wines (in all price ranges) from the nice folks at Dinner: A Love Story.
Slideshow of Sides from the New York Times Dining section. How good does the crisp potato cake look? And Bittmanโs green mashed potatoes?
Eight potato gratins fromย Saveur.
Smitten Kitchenโs Desserts and Sides Loving the look of thatย spicy squash salad with lentils and goat cheese.
Butternut Squash, Pecan, and Currants. Photograph by Francesco Tonelli for The New York Times
Happy Thanksgiving!
This is such a wonderful idea. Iโm thinking it might be nice for willing adults too ๐
Speaking of all things maple-bourbon, you have to try this cold cream sauce for desserts . . . like pecan pie. I did a test run last weekend (after seeing Ree Drummond make it on a โthrowndown!โ w/ Bobby Flay). She has a new fan. It is truly delicous.
Whiskey Maple Cream Sauce:
1 1/2 cups whipping cream
5 tablespoons real maple syrup
3 tablespoons light corn syrup
1 tablespoon whiskey
Pour the whipping cream into a saucepan. Add the maple syrup and corn syrup and stir over moderate heat until thickened and reduced by about 1/3, approximately 15 minutes. Stir in the whiskey. Refrigerate mixture until it is cold and thick. Drizzle over warm pecan pie.
What a great idea! Love your โfill in the blankโ answers on some of your other posts too.
โalways tell me about your life (when something is wrong)โ is so sweet it makes me want to cry. Remember your post about the Trillins, when Alice read the napkin note in the girlโs lunch, and what did she say, it was the secret to happiness? this always-tell-me line is like the boiled down equivalent of the secret to having kids.
I love this. Have been wondering how to inject some fresh energy into the dinner conversation among my dear but quiet and reserved family (the livelier ones will be elsewhere this year), and youโve just inspired me. Thank you! Have a happy and jolly Thanksgiving!
OMG โ thank you for those questions!! My emerging idea is to use a roll of brown craft paper as a runner and write fill-in-the-blanks on it โฆ but I had only gotten as far as โIโm most thankful for _________.โ And โMy favourite Thanksgiving memory is ___________.โ So! Your post is especially apropos!
Love your blog! I have a thanksgiving challenge for you: Jerusalem Artichokes! My farmer friend just dropped off a pile of them. What to do..roastedโฆgratinโฆsautee w bacon?
Annmarie- Try this one out: https://promoavenue.info/trust-me-on-this-one/%3C/p%3E
Your fillin the blanks is such a great idea to teach kids what Thanksgiving is truly about. I wish you and your family a Happy Thanksgiving!
This is a very sweet idea โ even if all the kids are grown up. I also like the idea of a brown paper table runner. Think Iโm going to do that. Happy Turkey Day to all.
What an amazingly beautiful idea! I love it, and will file it away to use when my kiddo combo is able to write (and read).
I hope your Thanksgiving spirit lasts all year.
I bought a โTable Topicsโ box this year in place of the what-Iโm-thankful-for roundabout and it was a big hit. My niece and nephews especially loved it and kept using it for all our meals the rest of the weekend!
Love the fill-in-the-blank ideas! I really want to know where the animal thanksgiving print came from please. I love that picture!
Nice idea! I love the picture you chose for the post. Looking forward to your 2012 Thanksgiving post!
Hi! I am new to your site, and Iโm in LOVE! Although thereโs some hate tooโ I am constantly on line, going through old posts, old recipes, old pictures, and Iโm falling a bit behind on my life.
Regardlessโฆ
Do you know where you found the picture at the top of this post? I just love it! Many thanks for your writing and all of the great info. And pictures. ๐