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Books, Gifts, CultureRituals

My Favorite Thing to Give

By October 4, 2017April 5th, 2022368 Comments

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When I was a kid, my family had an account at the local bookstore, a privilege I donโ€™t remember enjoying anywhere else in town. I felt so cool stopping in, picking up the latest V.C. Andrews novel, then then telling whoever was working behind the counter, Just charge it to โ€œRosenstrach.โ€ I never felt guilty piling two or three on the counter at once, something that wouldโ€™ve been unimaginable with, say, Ton Sur Ton sweatshirts at the trendy clothing store down the street. I like to think thatโ€™s why, to this day, I am like Daddy Warbucks when it comes to buying books, constantly ordering them for friends and family (sometimes even strangers) for just about any occasion, with a recklessness that doesnโ€™t reveal itself in any other part of my budgetary life. I think itโ€™s because handing someone a book with a personal note feels like Iโ€™m making a connection that might otherwise be nonexistent or difficult or elusive. I thought of you the whole time I read thisโ€ฆI know youโ€™re going through a lot, maybe this book will helpโ€ฆThis cookbook is a good resource next time you are having your in-laws for dinnerโ€ฆI read this book to my baby when she was your babyโ€™s ageโ€ฆI like this book, I know you will too. Here are the books Iโ€™ve handed out in the past three months (and one that Phoebe has handed out) that I think you might like to know about. Longtime blog readers will definitely recognize a few.

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Book: The Important Book, by Margaret Wise Brown
Why I Love It: Itโ€™s the lesser known, but equally poetic cousin to Goodnight Moon โ€”ย a picture book explaining the essence of, the importanceย of, seemingly everyday objects apples, spoons, wind, grass.
Why I Gave It: Every now and then I will fill in for editors who are on maternity leave and itโ€™s become something of a ritual for me to leave this behind for the mom when she returns to her desk. Iโ€™m always tempted to leave it with the note โ€œIโ€™m so jealous!โ€ conveniently over-romanticizing life with a newborn.

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Book
: Logo Type, Michael Evamy
Why I Love It: Because it tells the story behind the creation of famous logos, from Google to YouTube to Barneys New York to MoMA to FedEx to Crate & Barrel.
Why I Gave It: Because my workshare colleague Christy is a design genius and I knew sheโ€™d pore over it like I did. (As a thank-you, she forwarded me the SNL Papyrus skit. #TypographyNerdsUnite.)


Book
: Modern Jewish Cooking, by Leah Koenig
Why I Love It: My affection for this book has been recently and substantially chronicled. (Exhibit A: Last Weekโ€™s Fattoush, Exhibit B: Last Yearโ€™s Roast Chicken with Fennel and Orange.)
Why I Gave It: When my sister calls me to ask for advice on menu planning for Passover, Yom Kippur, Chanukah, Shabbat, what do you think I do first? I reach for Koenigโ€™s book in my library. I thought maybe it was finally time for her to have her own.

***TEEN-AGE EDITION***
Book
: Milk & Honey, by Rupi Kaur, given by my 15-year-old to a friend
Why Phoebe Loves It: (This is from Phoebe) โ€œItโ€™s a collection* of poems with a lot of feminine empowerment and a lot of resonating lines, such as โ€˜The person who you love should complement you, not complete you.โ€™ They stay with me.โ€ [*My edit: โ€œa MEGA-SELLING collectionโ€] Whyย Phoebe Gave It: โ€œI gave it to my friend who seemed like she was heading down a spiral of self-deprecation, and it was over a boy, which wasnโ€™t like her at all.โ€
Note from Phoebeโ€™s Mom: Please thumb through this before handing off to a teen-ager. There is sex talk โ€” not gratuitous or raunchy โ€” but itโ€™s there.


Book:
Dinner: The Playbook, by Yours Truly
Why I Love It: Because, in some ways, it was the easiest and most fun book for me to write of all three in the Dinner: A Love Story trilogy. Minimal storytelling but maximum strategizing for rolling up sleeves and making family dinner happen in the real world.
Why I Gave It: Because I was at a cross-country meet, speaking with another dinner-struggling mom, who said โ€œIโ€™m not like you, Iโ€™m not a professional chef, and I can only cook things if they are easy.โ€ To which I of course responded, โ€œI am in fact the opposite of a professional chef. I am a home cook and my books are written for people like you, who want to simplify as much as possible and still eat well.โ€ When I started describing a few of the recipes in Playbook (roast salmon with spicy mayo and chives, spaghetti with roasted cauliflower and breadcrumbs, cornmeal crusted fish with minty peas) it seemed like they were resonating, so I sent her a copy via my favorite messenger method: through the kidsโ€™ backpacks.

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Book:
Pizza Camp, Joe Beddia
Why I Love It: Refresh your memory with this love letter I wrote back in the spring. Itโ€™s no secret that we love pizza in our house, and this book, by the Philadelphia king upped our game in a serious way. (I will never use cooked sauce on a pie again.)
Why I Gave It: A guy in my exercise class at the gym makes pizza dough for a living! In between burpees and squats, we talk about his favorite pizza recipes, my favorite pizza recipes, our favorite Italian American haunts in Westchester, and other joyous topics to take our minds of the pain. I knew heโ€™d love Beddia.


Book
: In the Lake of the Woods, by Tim Oโ€™Brien
Why I Love It: I read it so long ago, when I was in the grips of a powerful Tim Oโ€™Brien obsession, but the basic storyline centers on, of course, a Vietnam War vet, running for office and struggling with the violence of his past.
Why I Gave It: Who else was riveted by PBSโ€™s documentary last week, The Vietnam War? (For those of you who havenโ€™t watched: Itโ€™s a commitment, but it is astonishing.) Tim Oโ€™Brien was one of the vets interviewed, and in the very last moments of the 10-part series, he read passages from The Things They Carried, which is pretty solidly cemented in my All Time Favorite Top Ten Books. Since I had already given that one to Phoebe, who properly and dutifully revered it, too, I tracked down this one for her as a follow-up. (And then I promptly re-read The Things for the millionth time.)


Book:
Deceptively Delicious, by Jessica Seinfeld.
Why I Love It: When this book came out, I actually didnโ€™t love it. Seinfeld made the case for disguising vegetables and other nutritious elements in traditionally kid-friendly foods like brownies and mac and cheese. I was outraged along with a lot of other new moms: Kids should learn to love and recognize broccoli! If we accommodate their dislikes and validate their fears, how will they ever learn to make healthy choices for themselves?!ย Yeah yeah yeah, whatevs. That was 2008, and Iโ€™ve been around the block since then. Kids are tricky when it comes to eating โ€” understatement of the year โ€” and hereโ€™s the operative concept: They are not all the same. If parents are wracked with anxiety about their childโ€™s diet and hiding kale in the kidโ€™s meatballs is going to bring some measure of peaceโ€ฆwho am I to tell them to do anything different?
Why I Gave it: My friend Christina, who has two pre-school-age kids, told me recently that she discovered a neat trick for getting her kids to eat better: she sneaks greens into their favorite foods without them knowing it. โ€œOh, like the Jessica Seinfeld book!โ€ I said. โ€œWho?โ€ She replied. Of course I was forced to respond how I hate to respond: โ€œWell, back in the day, when I had young kidsโ€ฆโ€ then I one-clicked Deceptively Delicious for her.


Book:
Tell Me More: And 11 Other Important Things Iโ€™m Learning to Say, by Kelly Corrigan
Why I Love It: Fans of Corriganโ€™s essays, or any of her bestselling books (likeย The Middle Place), alreadyย know that she has a gift for observation, finding humor and meaning everywhere she looks, ultimately forcing you do the same. But this bookโ€ฆit blew me away. Tell Me More is a collection of essays touches on every issue I stay up at night thinking about: raising teen-agers, dealing with aging parents, confronting regrets and loss and death.
Why I Gave It:ย 
One of my more favorite rituals is a weekly-ish power walk with my friend, Naria. She is the worldโ€™s fastest walker, so I get a great workout, but mostly I look forward to our conversations. ย When we walk, we talk. About everything. About raising daughters, dealing with aging parents, confronting regrets and loss and death. See? I had no other choice than to drop off Tell Me More on her doorstep yesterday.

****Why Iโ€™ll Give it Again, aka A GIVEAWAY:ย Corriganโ€™s book is not published until January but it just so happens that I know an editor at Random House who can score some advanced reader editions for us. (Which might even be better than having an account at the local bookstore.) Comment below for your chance to win two copies, one for your own reading pleasure and one to give to a friend who you think might need it most. Contest ends Friday 10/6 at noon ET. UPDATE: The winner has been notified. Thanks to everyone for playing!

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368 Comments

  • Avatar Am says:

    For empowering-girls poetry, Iโ€™d recommend Nejma and Salt by Nayyirah Waheed (she also posts excerpts on Instagram). Beautiful, amazing observations and mantras!

  • Avatar Jen says:

    A Lifeโ€™s Work said me when I had my first child nearly 7 years ago. It was the perfect antidote to all of the messages one gets when they are pregnant and have a baby. I just sent a copy to my sister in law yesterday.

  • Avatar Meghan says:

    Ooh, what are your other All Time Favorite Top Ten Books? Iโ€™d love to hear more!

  • Avatar Amber says:

    We love pizza so much at our house we Are building our own wood fired pizza oven. Always on the lookout for new pizza cookbooks. Thanks for all the great book recommendations.

  • James says:

    Pizza Camp is a great read!

  • Avatar Yooying says:

    Thank you for suggesting these beautiful books. Gonna find some of them to read in free time. I have never given books to anyone as a gift, but Iโ€™d love to lend my friends my books whenever they want.

  • Avatar kristin says:

    I love your book posts and also Kelly Corrigan.

  • Ellen Scott says:

    When I was a child, in my home we have a big bookshelf and that is where my passion with book start. A Lifeโ€™s Work: On Becoming a Mother is book I wanna read at this time.

  • Avatar Mona Cardwell says:

    I love to read and am moved by your generous spirit of sharing books youโ€™ve loved. Books are so nourishingโ€“they are as essential as food. Recently I read Daniel Mendelsonโ€™s An Odyssey, Gail Godwinโ€™s Grief Cottage and Gabriel Tallentโ€™s My Absolute Darling. Looking forward to checking out your recommendations.

  • Avatar kelley says:

    loved your book ideas โ€“ there is a book for every occasion!

  • Avatar Laura Coulter says:

    I love sending books as gifts! I sent copies of Wild and Dear Sugar (Cheryl Strayed) to 10 friends one year, Robert Munschโ€™s โ€œLove You Foreverโ€ is a staple baby gift and I recently went to Value Village and bought 24 books, wrapped them each up and have them ready for the 24 nights before Christmas (for my cousinโ€™s kids). I was thinking to send 40 books to 40 friends this year to celebrateโ€ฆ40 years of reading for me?! Iโ€™d love send the Kelly Corrigan book on too.

  • Avatar Anu says:

    โ€œWhen I was a kid, my family had an account at the local bookstore, a privilege I donโ€™t remember enjoying anywhere else in town. I felt so cool stopping in, picking up the latest V.C. Andrews novel, then then telling whoever was working behind the counter, Just charge it to โ€œRosenstrach.โ€ โ€

    Oh man, I had the same thing growing up and I felt the exact same way about it. Just utterly cool. And I donโ€™t remember ever abusing it to buy chocolates or any non-book items โ€“ and my parents paid my ridiculous charges for books without blinking. Thank you parents!

  • Avatar Shannon DiLauro says:

    I love books! And I want to read all of your suggestions. Especially Tell Me More!

  • veena says:

    I am also a huge fan of giving books away to people! One of my favorite things is figuring out which of my friends would connect with a particular book and then giving them my book after I finish. I always write my name in the front page of my books in the hopes that others will do the same and continue it on โ€” I dream that one day Iโ€™ll come across one of my old books in a used bookstore or will have one given back to me and will be able to trace its history. I know itโ€™s a longshot, but I think it would be so cool.

    Also, milk + honey is such a wonderful book, and I loved reading Phoebeโ€™s reason for why she gave it to her friend. How wonderful that she was able to recognize that her friend was going through a tough time and thought this book would reveal her inner strength. Thatโ€™s a lovely young lady you have!

  • Avatar bullet force says:

    Books are my favorite gift!!!

  • Avatar Jill says:

    These recommendations are wonderful. I canโ€™t wait to read Rachel Cuskโ€™s book. One of my favorite books I read when my daughter was an infant was Anne Lamottโ€™s Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Sonโ€™s First Year. It made me laugh and cry with recognition of just how hard that first year is. Thank you!

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