..
- Please?
- Try holding your nose.
- See how the fish is pink? Princesses love pink. Salmon is what princesses eat! Itโs princess food! Yay princesses!!!
- If you donโt eat this, I will take the dog for a walk and never come home.
- You know how sometimes a needle is so sharp you donโt even feel it? Thatโs what this chili is like. Itโs so spicy that you wonโt even taste anything.
- Try the swordfish. Itโs like white salmon.
- Try the cauliflower. Itโs like white broccoli.
- Try the tofu. Itโs like white-ish chicken.
- Try eating. Itโs how you survive.
- I went through full labor and then had a C-section in order to bring you into this world. I almost died for you. You owe me.
- If you donโt eat it, then I will. And then Iโll hate myself.
- Donโt you love Daddy?
- Let me ask you one question: Why must you torment me so?
- Itโs lemon sole!!! Isnโt that a fun name? Sole is a fish. You like fish, donโt you? Donโt you love salmon? Well, salmon is also a fish! Sole is like salmonโs cousin, in that they both swim in the ocean. They swim around and are cute. Itโs really good. Itโs even better than salmon! You like fish. Youโll love this. Iย promise. Just think of it as salmon. Or, okay, chicken. It tastes a little like chicken, too. Oh come on, you love chicken. This is breaded and fried, just like the chicken we make. Itโs like that, but even better. Think of it as chicken and salmon mixed together, and you love both of those things, right? Donโt you? You donโt?
- Pretty please?
- If you donโt try this, Santa wonโt come.
- The doctor said you need to eat this.
- Thereโs no more ketchup. Heinz stopped making ketchup last week. It was in all the newspapers. A newspaper is something you read.
- Donโt eat? ย No treat.
- Letโs think about this logically for a minute, okay?
- One bite one bite one bite one bite one bite one bite one bite one bite.
- Remember the Mac and Cheese youย lovedย at that restaurant in Charleston? This is the exact same recipe, from that restaurantโs cookbook, written by the exact same chef who made it for you then. And now Iโm taking his exact instructions and recreating the exact same meal for you right here at your table in New York. How cool is that??
- How do you know you wonโt like it if youโve never tried it? And yeah, I just said that.
- If you try this, weโll talk about getting you that Polly Pocket Cruise Ship Set that will sit on our living room floor like a hideous speed bump for the next five years until I throw it away one day when youโre not looking.
- Letโs play a game: Pretend your life depended on finishing this.
- Quick! Look over there!
- Do you enjoy this? Is that why you do this?
- You like watching your mother cry? Is that it?
- Your sister finished hers.
- You think Tony Stark leaves any kale on his plate?
- You liked it yesterday!?
- You liked it when Aunt Lynn made it for you.
- Your little chicken is lonely and sad and will only be happy when heโs reunited with his potato friends in your stomach.
- Man cannot survive on pasta alone.
- What do you think tomato sauce is made out of?
- Donโt you want to live for a long time?
- Donโt you want to outlive your parents?
- Do you want the dog to get fat? Because she should not be eating this much hamburger meat every night.
- Iโm counting to three.
- I mean five.
- I mean ten.
- I loved this meal when I was a kid.
- I hated this meal when I was a kid.
- Donโt look at it, just eat it.
Photos of Phoebe (!) by Ronnie Andren, circa 2002.
ย
45. do you know what MY mother made ME eat as a kid? not nearly as tasty as THIS!!
46. do you know how hard i slaved over the stove to put risotto on your plate? who doesnโt like risotto??
47. tastes change! if you didnโt like it last time, you might love it this time!
HA love this! I think I have said just about all of these excuses to mine!
Love #7! I have said that so many times to my kids in the grocery store to no availโฆ
Close your eyes and open your mouth. Sadly, said to a ten year old.
I will have to borrow the Tony Stark one.
Ha. LOVE this. : )
#35. Oh my goodness, how many times I have uttered #35!!!
Jerry Seinfeld was interviewed and he said the number one line he still uses in real life from his sitcom โSeinfeldโ is what he uses on his kids when heโs trying to get them to eat something new. โIf youโre one of us, youโll eat it.โ
This is so painfully accurate. Have to add to #44โฆdonโt sniff it, just eat it.
โI hated this meal when I was a kidโโmade me laugh the most!
Also, โDonโt you DARE eat that.โ (Sometimes reverse psychology works with my youngest, though sheโs kind of on to me now.)
โThereโs no more ketchup. Heinz stopped making ketchup last week. It was in all the newspapers. A newspaper is something you read.โ -basically a microcosm of raising children, in 4 sentences.
Then close your eyes when you eat it so you wonโt see the mushroom.
It all gets mixed together in your stomach anyway.
Have you tried them recently? I used to hate peas, but now I like them. Maybe you like them now too.
LOL, dying! i am always saying, โyou loved last time i made it!โ
http://semiweeklyeats.blogspot.com/2014/01/work-outfit-7.html
โBut your brother is eating it!โ
When you have one picky eater and one who eats EVERYTHING. Half lucky I guess.
ahahahahahahahah! the ketchup one is hilarious!!! You guys rock!!! Iโm linking this post in my facebook.
First of all, the pictures of Pheobe are adorable. Secondly, most of these statements have been uttered at my dinner table and ALL of them made me laugh!
I use the one about princess salmon all the time; I got the idea from your cookbook! And it works! I love your honesty Jenny. I feel like so many parents I know are always bragging about how their kids eat everything. I was seriously freaking out about my toddler being picky about food until I read the part in your book about how one of your girls hardly ate for a whole year. You have been a life-saver when it comes to family dinners in my house.
Oh, man, this could not have come at a better time, when the younger is getting over being sick and therefore not eating, and the older is mad that the younger got so much attention while sick and is lashing out by complaining about every single dinner and mom can no.longer.deal. Itโs always nice to be reminded that Iโm not alone!
This was perfection. My go to threats are for SURE the DR and โyour brother is eating this and he is a toddler.โ I totally play off the competition between the two of them. Not sure why, as it never works. Sigh.
Last night, โ stop dissecting it like it is a science project, just eat the damn thing!โ
My biggest one is โYou used to like it!โ Ugh!
My Aunt Theresa once told me that it was important to talk to other parents of young children when raising your own children. If for anythingโฆso that you know your kids are in fact normal. This list is a perfect example of what she was talking about! Although, I think by normal she meant oppositional little turds. ๐
Wow, my parents were pretty stunted in this departmentโall we ever got was โJust on bite, I bet youโll like it!โ
โItโs potatoes, corn and meat (or any other ingredients in the plate). You love everything in this plate. Eat itโ
Thatโs one that happens a lot here, since I have a daughter that seems adverse to mixes. But mixes are sooo easy on a monday nightโฆ
What, not one โstarving children in Africaโ reference? Iโm so disappointed, how times have changed since I was a kid lol